At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize