just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
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Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
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All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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