I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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