It's Friday. Sex?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
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He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
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