I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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