You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize