Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
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We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
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I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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