Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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