I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize