Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize