ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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