wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize