today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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