so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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