i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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