My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize