it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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