Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize