omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
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My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
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Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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