No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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