we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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