i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
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There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
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Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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