Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize