We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize