I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize