i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
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college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
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you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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