I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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