Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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