So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize