I don't usually arrange sex via text message
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
As shirtless as possible
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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