I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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