sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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