Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
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