Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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