Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
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He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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