so let's talk penis.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize