it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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