Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize