I must be too annoying 4 u.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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