You're my little dorito
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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