apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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