Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize