I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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