I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My vagina is officially offended.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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