i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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