Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize