Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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