so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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