"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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