You're completely useless in the revolution.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
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Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
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Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize