how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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